LUSO - SA

2008-11-06T16:31:00.001Z

THE World Cup has arrived, almost two years early.

The 18-carat trophy, for which the world’s top football teams will compete on South African fields in 2010, went on show in Sandton yesterday. It stands 36cm tall and weighs 5kg.

This is the second World Cup, the first having been the Jules Rimet trophy, which was permanently awarded to Brazil in 1970 because they had won it four times by then. That trophy was stolen in 1966, just four months before the World Cup in England. It was found just seven days later wrapped in newspaper at the bottom of a suburban garden hedge in London, by a dog named Pickles.

Fifa was not taking any chances with the latest trophy, especially in Joburg. Two heavily built bodyguards kept a watchful eye on it during yesterday’s showing.

2008-10-21T11:29:00.003+01:00

SPRINGBOK EMBLEM

As with many changes in SA, here is one more, they wanna change the Springbok emblem!! Why should they change the Springbok emblem? That is SA Rugby. Haven't the Boks prooved themselves more than once, they won the world cup twice TWICE (2 TIMES)! And the nation stood behind them UNITED, as 1, TOGETHER ALL SOUTH AFRICANS.

For the 1ST time ALL SOUTH AFRICANS WERE TOGETHER!!!

Why is it that when South Africa stand together and believe in something the government wants to destroy it??

What I don´t understand is why change something that brings a nation togeather?? Why keep going back??? We have something that is a good, lets move on!!

Keep our emblem its more than just an emblem its South Africans together as one nation!

2008-07-18T17:30:00.000+01:00

MADIBA

90th BIRTHDAY!!!

...

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Mr Nelson Mandela, happy birthday to you!!!!

Here are some of the ways that South Africans are celebrating Madiba´s birthday!!

All you can eat at Nando's, who join in the celebrations by dishing out food and presents on Madiba's behalf to every citizen over the age of 90!!
Postage stamps depicting Madiba - intended to be collector's items - were launched by the South African Post Office
The central bank said five million of the R5 coins, featuring a smiling portrait of Mandela, would go into circulation as part of celebrations
Eastern Cape MEC for Agriculture, Gugile Nkwinti hand over 150 goats to the impoverished communities of Adelaide, Bedford and Mt Pleasant.
Eastern Cape MEC for Agriculture, Gugile Nkwinti will tomorrow, 18 July 2008 celebrate the birthday of the former President of South Africa Nelson Mandela by handing over 150 goats to the impoverished communities of Adelaide, Bedford and Mt Pleasant.
The FIFA-organised celebratory match to honour former President Nelson Mandela's birthday ended in a three-all draw on Wednesday night
A Mandela comic book
46664 Mandela Bangle, the bangles are made with South African precious metals and hand finished by skilled craftsmen infected or affected by HIV or Aids. All bangles are individually numbered and will also be engraved with Nelson Mandela’s historic prison number whilst he was imprisoned on Robben Island.

To wish Madiba happy birthday personally via South African Tourism, go to: http://www.happybirthdaymandela.com/

2008-05-19T08:00:00.000+01:00

ANOTHER LEGEND ................TABLE MOUNTAIN

According to African legend Qamata created the world.

However, Nganyamba - a mighty old dragon who sleeps under the sea - tried to prevent Qamata from creating dry land. To help him against Nganyamba, Djobela, the one-eyed earth goddess, cast a spell and created four giants, one each to guard the north, south, east and west.

Many battles raged and eventually the giants were defeated. Before dying they asked Djobela to turn them into mountains so they could continue their work.

The Watcher of the South - Umlindi Wemingizimu - became Table Mountain.

2008-04-16T13:00:00.005+01:00

Van Hunks and the Devil

As the story goes Jan van Hunks, a Dutch pirate in the early 18th century, retired from his eventful life at sea to live on the slopes of Devil's Peak, South Africa. To escape from his wife's sharp tongue he often walked up the mountain where he settled down to smoke his pipe. One day a mysterious stranger approached him and asked the retired pirate to borrow some tobacco. After a bit of bragging, a smoking contest ensued, with the winner's prize a ship full of gold. After several days, Van Hunks finally defeated the stranger, who unfortunately turned out to be the devil. Suddenly, thunder rolled, the clouds closed in and Van Hunks disappeared, leaving behind only a scorched patch of ground. Legend has it that the cloud of tobacco smoke they left became the "table-cloth" - the famous white cloud that spills over Table Mountain when the south-easter blows in summer. When that happens, it is said that Van Hunks and the Devil are at it again.

Legends are important and an interesting way to find the meaning or teaching of some idea, in the tale of "Van Hunks and The Devil" it reminds us never to brag or we might just find ourselves the victims of our own boastful attitude!

Side note: Now I wonder what Van Hunks was smoking?!?! What do you suppose he was smoking ???

2008-04-16T12:19:00.000+01:00

Wat is die nuwe weergawe van:
"Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, I want U in my room"?
Sakkie, Sakkie, Sakkie, Kom ons gaan spyker in my bakkie!!"

2008-03-12T12:00:00.000Z

GOING BACK TO THE BASIC..?!?!?

2008-03-06T21:44:00.003Z

MARIETJIE´S MATRIC ENGLISH EXAM ....

DEFEAT - is da fings da go in da tekkies

DIVORCE - is da fing u eat with da pap.

DESTROY - is da fing da cows eat.

DELIVER - is next to da kidney.

DESIGN - is da fing to show u da way.

DISSOLVE - is da answer to da problem.

DETEST - is da fing I'm writing now.... Eish!!!

2008-02-29T18:32:00.002Z

Adam & Eve in SA English..

Adam & Eve are trapping around the Garden of Eden kaalgat. Eve checks this lekker apple and she skiems "Nooit hey, I'm gonna graze it." Just then a moerse voice from above charfs her. "Leave the apple, or I will send an unimaginable plague upon the earth." She kaks herself half stukkend and losses the apple.

A bit later Adam is trapping along when he gooi's a sharp right and finds this apple. "Bliksem" he skiems. Ah'm gonna chow this thing. Just then a moerse voice from above chirps him. "Leave the apple, or I will send an unimaginable plague upon the earth". "Ag nooit hey" he rekons, "I'm stukkend hungry" and he grazes it.

That night he and Eve are in bed, when he hears a knock at the door. Hepluk s open the front door to hear: "Eh, sorry baaas, Em looking for a job......"

2008-02-26T20:00:00.002Z

Look what Eskom did to Ouma....

Scary things happen in the dark!!

2008-02-26T20:00:00.001Z

And the Oscar goes to…

2008-02-21T12:30:00.000Z

Did you know...

Do you remember the yellow wrapper in small squares with four Did you Know? questions inside the wrapper?? Yes of course, anyone who is anyone remembers CHAPPIES!!! For nearly half a century, South Africans have loved to chew chappies!! I remember as a kid, loving to chew chappies, sticking them afterwards under a chair at school (oops?!? Wasn´t suppose to admit to that!!) Did you know that ... ... Chappies sells five million pieces of Chappies bubblegum each day!! (That´s a lot of chewing going on!! Please chew with your mouth shut!!!!)

2008-02-20T09:00:00.001Z

A phone is a form of

Hoezit?

A kiss is a form of

ek LAAIK JOU

A picture is a form of

remembering good times

but having

ME as a friend

is a SIGN of

DONNERSE GOEIE SMAAK!!!!

Bleddie lucky bliksem !!!

2008-02-10T22:21:00.000Z

'''I Love You, My Friend'''
by Lynn Smiley

Shall I run or hide
And die inside
Or pretend
That I never knew you, even as a friend?

Can I go back in time,
Before your hand was in mine,
Or erase the kiss,
That I will forever miss,
Or forget your eyes
That seem to hypnotize?

Can my mind erase
The feel of your embrace?
How can I forget all of this
And pretend it doesn't exist?

I want you to know one thing that will never end -
my love for you. I love you, my friend

2008-02-04T09:00:00.000Z

MONOPOLY BOARD - VOTE CAPE TOWN!!

Now, I ask the question ... Who has never played the game before? We all have, and if you haven´t ... then there is something seriously wronge with you!! Now, we have the oportunity to vote for Cape Town to become a city on the World Monopoly Board!

Go to the following site to vote!!!

http://www.monopolyworldvote.com/en_ZA/world/

The public can vote for their top cities online every day until 29 February 2008!!

What a great idea in general!! I would love to see a South African city represented on the World Monopoly Board! I know Joburg is not as "pretty" or historic as Cape Town, but for me Joburg represents South Africa for all her good and bad, so I would vote for Joburg..... What does everyone else think?

2008-02-03T20:07:00.000Z

Polly says goodbye …

Cricketing hero Shaun Pollock has made a lasting impression on all his cricket fans today. Cricket fans around the country have packed the various cricket grounds to bid their final farewells for the past two weeks! It was all smiles for the Proteas this afternoon when they won the 5th MTN one-day international against the West Indies at Wanderers stadium by eight wickets. Chasing a rain-adjusted target of 211 of 31 over’s, South Africa made 211 for two, with 13 balls to spare. The West Indies went on to post a total of 295 runs - Devon Smith scoring a career-best of 91 off 76 balls lashing 10 fours and three sixes. Pollock hit the winning runs, Herschelle Gibbs made 102. South Africa won the series five-nil! See u ....

2008-02-02T13:35:00.000Z

JOKE OF THE DAY

Back in the day, Britain and France were at war with each other. During a particular battle, French soldiers captured an English Major. Taking the Major to their headquarters, a French general began to question him.

The French general asked, “Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don’t you realize the red materials make you easier targets for us to shoot?” In his bland English way, the Major informed the General that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, blood won’t show and the men they are leading won’t panic.

And this is why, from that day foward, all French Army officers wear brown pants.

2008-02-01T16:10:00.000Z

Afrikaaner Names

What do you call :

1. A doctor who does circumcisions............Dr. P.P. Snyman

2. An Afrikaaner Gynaecologist...................Dr.Koekemoer

3. An Afrikaaner who doesn't go to church............Van NieKerk

4. An Afrikaaner who failed June exams..............Viljoen

5. An Afrikaaner that trips and falls in the mountains.........Van der Berg

6. The Afrikaaner that votes in EVERY election .....WOUTER

7. The Afrikaaner that drives the loud Datsun Stanza.......BASSon

8. The Afrikaaner that is very well endowed ........De LANGE

9. A Male Afrikaaner that prefers other male species..... De KOCK

10. The Afrikaaner thats always high.......POTgieter

11. An Afrikaaner moffie..........Sakkie De Kock

(No offense to any afrikaaners out there :))

2008-01-31T20:53:00.000Z

Compassion

To often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life round.

Leo Buscaglia

2008-01-29T18:00:00.000Z

ESKOM .... Trying to take Africa back to the dark ages??

2008-01-25T23:16:00.000Z

FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW...

The top 3 designer/engineers in motorsport are from SA!

Ferarri’s (F1) head designer
Maclaren’s (F1) head designer
Ducatti’s head designer

Pratley Putty made by a South African was used in space

South Africa has the largest, longest surviving bottlenose dolphin in captivity - Gambit, who lives at the Durban aquarium (now uShaka)

South Africa is the country with the highest probability of being shot dead whilst in a shopping mall.

South Africa has the longest bungy jump in the world

South Africa has the biggest open-mine hole in Kimberly

South Africa has the longest mine shaft in the world

The host of the biggest world telescope

The only country with eleven official languages

The first African country to host football world cup

The first African country to legalise same sex marriages

The first African in space

Country with one of the most BMW’s in the world.

The first heart transplant

The first automatic microwave to sell popcorn

The first automatic pool cleaning unit

2008-01-25T22:58:00.000Z

JOKE OF THE DAY

A young man is visiting his grandfather in the country, they have scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast.
For lunch they have bbq chicken and mashed potatoes, but the granson sees residue of eggs on his plate, so he asks him about it, granpa says, "its the best cold water can do", so the young man says ok.

They have steak and vegatables for dinner, and he sees residue of eggs and bbq, he asks grandpa, grandpa repeats "its the best cold water can do" so the young man says ok.

The young man is about to leave, and his grandfathers old dog, starts barkin and blockin the young man from leavin, so the man shouts for his grandfather.

The old man immediately comes out and shouts "inside Cold water"

2008-01-17T22:00:00.000Z

DRIVERS LICENCE

ID-book driver´s licence are no longer valid in SA. Drivers who have not changed their identity document-based licences to a card licence are no longer licensed to drive.This means starting from scratch - getting a learner's licence and going for a driving test. It also means they will be fined for driving without a valid driver's licence. The new card licence has to be renewed every five years. So if you are out of SA and thinking of going there on holiday get your international driveres licence and there you can hire out a car and still drive around!!

2008-01-14T22:06:00.000Z

FOR THE READER

Listen to the poem
as it sings its song
of unbridled love for the reader
Hey there
You with the poem in your eyes
Can't you see
how I miss you?
Every day my heart goes out
into the world searching for you
I mean the real you
& not the descriptions I have
of you in my head

When you touch me
all the angels in my body
break into song
When you leave the music dies
My heart is crying only
to be pointed in your direction
I sense the light of love in your eyes
& disappear into anything
you happen to be looking at
Without you
I'm an empty flame
with nothing to burn
I want only you to read me

Hell is where we come apart
& squeeze out a few desperate lines
I don't rely on threats
to keep me going
I just keep you in mind
I may only be as clear as you make me
but no matter how hard you look
I can't be a mirror
if you don't see yourself
No poem can live without a reader
& I can't last a moment without you
calling me back to life

-Steve Toth

2008-01-14T21:36:00.000Z

JOKE OF THE DAY

My Grandfather goes to the mall. He's old, so we forgive him for the things he says.......most of the time.

He's sitting in the mall waiting for his wife to come out of a shop. A teenage boy comes along, sits across from him. Grandfather stares at him for a long long time, not saying a thing.

Teenage boy has baggy clothes, spiked blue hair. Teenage says "What are you looking at old man?" Haven't you done any crazy things in your life?"

Grandfather says: "Yup.........had sex with a peacock once when I was a lad........just wondering if you were my son!"

2008-01-13T12:36:00.000Z

Don't force blacks to speak Afrikaans....

On visiting his aunt working on a farm, Steve wanted to show his new girlfriend that he can speak Afrikaans even though he comes from Soweto. So they went to a shop and they found this big white woman.

"More my vrou" Steve greeted the woman. She ignored him because she was used to being called "Misis". "Wat soek jy? the woman asked. "Hoeveel kos jou gat? asked Steve smiling. The woman was so furious that she called "die baas" and he came with 8 other farmers. And did they skop poor Steve, so much that even his girlfriend could not recognise him. They then called the police. On arrival the police asked what the poor man did to deserve such panelbeating. With swollen lips Steve said, "I just wanted to know how much does a yoghurt cost"!!

2008-01-13T11:57:00.000Z

2010 IN SA

Eskom has given reasons why their technical problems are now more serious than in the past, forcing them to resort to load shedding. Power cuts nationwide have been resumed, due to technical problems at various power stations. Eskom´s website says that load shedding is a last resort measure ad only when all other options at their disposal have been exhausted! Not the question remains, will they ever get this problem sorted out in time for 2010??

2008-01-11T15:50:00.000Z

JOKE OF THE DAY

a travelling salesman's car breaks down in the country. as he is walking along, he sees a old style farmhouse with a barn. he walks up and knocks on the door, and a old farmer answers.
"do you have a phone I could use" -salesman
"nope" -farmer
"what about a car to get me into town?" -salesman
"nope, got a buggy, but the horse is in the barn for the night"
"well, what can I do?
"well, you can sleep in the barn, and I will take you in town in the morning"
"ok"
they both walk towards the barn, the farmer opens the barn door . the salesman sees three holes in the wall at waist height, numbered 1, 2, and 3.
the salesman asks "what are the holes for, something to do with farming?
"nope, they are for when you are feeling "frisky" during the night. but whatever you do, don't mess around with hole number 3. do whatever you want to 1 and 2, but not hole 3, don't touch that one."
"ookk"
later, after the farmer goes back in the house, the salesman is thinking about what the farmer says. "hmmm, I am kinda frisky so I think I will give it a shot.
he goes over, strips down to the buff, and starts "in" on hole 1. after he finishes, he thinks "that was pretty good, but I am still feeling "frisky", so he tries hole 2. Even better than hole 1 !!
"that dumb farmer, saving the best for himself" so he goes "at" hole 3.
the farmer wakes up in the morning, and goes out to the barn to get the salesman ready for going to town.
he finds the salesman, naked as a jaybird, white as a sheet and almost dead.
"what in the daylights happened to you" he askes
"I went at hole 3, what the h**l were they?"
well sonny it is like this,
hole 1 is my wife,
hole 2 is my 19 year old virgin daughter
and hole 3 is a milking machine, it doesn't stop until it hits 5 gallons

2008-01-10T08:00:00.000Z

Koolerbox - Wat kyk jy?

As someone said the next Afrikaans Eminem!!

Dis nie snaaks nie.... Dis k@k snaaks!!!

2008-01-09T10:36:00.000Z

FOR YOU CRICKET FANS ...

2008-01-08T18:06:00.000Z

"Great men are they who see that spiritual thought is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world."

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Progress of Culture

"Thoughts are free and subject to no rule. On them rests the freedom of man, and they tower above the light of nature...create a new heaven, a new firmament, a new source of energy from which new arts flow."

Paracelsus

"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth - more than ruin - more even than death... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man."

Betrand Russell

2008-01-08T17:40:00.000Z

JOKE OF THE DAY

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a Masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.

Luckily the babies were OK.
The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate.
She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.
"What´s wrong?" asked the mother.

"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what had happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out"
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what had happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears.

"It´s okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

2008-01-05T09:00:00.000Z

Teenage kissathon staged to defy new law

Thousands of South African teenagers are expected take part in a massive kissing protest across the country today, 5 Jan 2008. The kissathon is aimed at defying a new law which makes it illegal for teenagers to kiss, touch or rub up against each other in public. The law, passed three weeks ago under the Sexual Offences Act, sparked an uproar on the social networking site Facebook. Teenagers could be criminally charged for contraventions.

2008-01-03T22:00:00.000Z

Lyk my die Gautengers kry swaar daar bo, as hulle hier kom is hul nog steeds paranoies!!

Ek het hierdie foto vanoggend geneem by Kabeljouws strand. Die ou het my gejaag, seker gedink ek wil sy moter steel!!

2008-01-03T20:53:00.000Z

NEW SEXUAL OFFENCES ACT COMES INTO EFFECT IN SA

The long-awaited Sexual Offences Amendment Act came into force in December 16, 2007. In a country deemed the “rape capital” of the world the bill is more than overdue. It is aimed at intensifying the country's efforts to fight crimes against women, children, the elderly and the vulnerable. The new law will, for the first time, classify sodomy as rape and buying sex from sex workers will be a criminal offence. The new law will also introduce tougher measures to protect children and the mentally disabled from sexual exploitation and child pornography. Lets hope that this will be a step forward to fight crime instead of covering the eyes of many people of what really happens in SA!!

2008-01-02T15:21:00.000Z

2008-01-02T15:18:00.000Z

BOK CAPTAIN SERIOUSLY INJURED

John Smit, South Africa captain will be sidelined for several weeks after spraining his right knee in training. They are still waiting on medical tests to confirm the gravity of the injuries. The 29-year-old hooker joined Clermont after captaining South Africa to their second World Cup triumph last October.

2007-12-28T16:58:00.001Z

SOMETIMES

When you cry...
no one see your tears..

SOMETIMES

When you are in pain...
no one see your hurt..

SOMETIMES

When you are worried..
no one sees your stress...

SOMETIMES

When you are happy...
no one see your smile...

But FART just ONE time...

And everybody KNOWS!!!
hahaha....

2007-12-27T07:00:00.000Z

Ok!!! Only got a few days left untill new years!!! Soooo it´s time for the so called New Year’s resolutions. How are you doing? Did you work on yours for a little while, then slowly dwindle off? Are you making good on your resolution? Or did you flop in the beginning? The long and short of it? I resolved to make a dent in my 101 - 2007 New Years´s resolutions .... now, lets be honest 101 was a bit too much!! So this year I decided to settle for only 99 !!

2007-12-26T23:00:00.000Z

2007-12-26T22:12:00.000Z

" An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

And a warm adieu to the old!!!

2008 promises to be an exciting year so make sure you visit us often to keep up with the latest news.
May you achieve what you aspire and may all your dream come true!!!!

Here´s to happiness, good times, good cheer.....

And the many joys yet to unfold!

Whatever you do, keep up the party, and don't drive if you drink!!!

"It's Gonna Be One Great Year"

2007-12-19T12:36:00.000Z

RUGBY

TOUGH DRAW FOR SEVENS BOKS

South Africa have been handed a relatively tough draw for the third tournament in the 2007/2008 International Rugby Board Sevens World Series in Wellington next February, with all four sides in their pool capable of reaching the quarter-finals.

New Zealand, who have won both the tournaments in the 2007/08 series and now have four consecutive tournament wins after also winning the last to legs of the 2006/07 series in London and Edinburgh, are seeded first with the beaten finalists in Dubai and George, Fiji, ranked second for Wellington. Argentina heads the fourth pool. Paul Treu's Springboks, who are currently third on the overall standings after two consecutive semifinal appearances in Dubai and George, will battle it out with Kenya, France and Australia in Pool C.

If everything goes according to the seedings, South Africa will play Scotland in the quarter-finals, with New Zealand set to face England, Fiji projected to clash with Samoa and Argentina with Kenya. Kenya almost caused an upset against the South Africans in the Dubai quarterfinals, are a definite threat and could certainly keep Treu's men on their toes.

And if the seedings are anything to go by - which they're not in this unpredictable game - the Springboks qualify at the top of Pool C, they will once again be on a collision course with the second-seeded Fijians in the semifinals. South Africa will again play Fiji in the semifinals in a repeat of George, where the Springboks lost 21-7.

However, with all 12 the core teams capable of beating each other, the likes of the United Stated, Scotland, Australia, Wales and Tonga are all capable of surprising in their pools and making it to the quarters.

2007-12-19T07:00:00.000Z

ZUMA NEW ANC PRESIDENT
December 18th, 2007

Jacob Zuma is the new President of the ANC. Zuma secured 2 329 votes against 1 505 votes of Mbeki This puts him firmly in line for the presidency of South Africa in 2009. Zuma’s victory is a massive blow to Mbeki. The position of deputy president went to current secretary-general Kgalema Motlanthe, who received 2346 votes against the 1445 votes gained by his opponent Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma. Do you think Zuma should become president of the country in 2009?

2007-12-18T22:50:00.000Z

MADAM & EVE

Madam & Eve is a popular cartoon strip in SA, it takes a humorous look at the daily lices of 2 people from very different backgrounds as they experience life in postapartheid SA.

2007-12-14T19:24:00.000Z

African Zulu dancing

Feel the rythm and dance to the beat.
Let go in the african escence...

2007-12-14T14:34:00.000Z

Bongani - my man! (south african humor)

TEACHER: Why are you late?
BONGANI: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BONGANI: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Bongani, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BONGANI: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Bongani, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BONGANI: "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BONGANI: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BONGANI: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BONGANI: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: Bongani, go to the map and find North America .
BONGANI: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: BONGANI!

TEACHER: Now, Bongani, tell me frankly do you say prayers, before eating?
BONGANI: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Bongani, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BONGANI: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking, when peopleare no longer interested?
BONGANI: A teacher

2007-12-14T07:00:00.000Z

WHAT U CHOON .....

My name is Cristina Vendeirinho and I was born at the Mary Mount Maternity Home in Johannesburg on May 22nd 1980. I lived in South Hills. I left in '89. Yes, I was nine years old. Never went back. My folks worry about the insecurity. I now live in Leiria. I remember few buildings, streets or names. But I remember the smell, the summer rains, the sunrise and sunset, the calmness and coolness of people, the brys (I don't know how it's written... Never learned Africaans), the space. I had a happy childhood in SA. Sometimes I think if I relate the country to that happiness. I was only a child but I loved it there. Sometimes I want to go back so bad it aches!!!! Do you also feel the calling at times? Is it just me? This eagerness that compels me to return to my roots if only for a few weeks... Big kisses and hugs to all my boets and sis's!!!!!

SA 4 EVER!!!!

Cristina Vendeirinho

WHAT I CHOON...

Well Cristina, thanxs for the comment, as always, its nice to know one more SA out there! I think anyone who has ever set foot in Africa feels its calling, or what ever you want to call it! Think all of us have a different word or expression but in the end it all resumes to the same feeling! Something that says "your home!". We are lank happy that you enjoyed the site as much as we have a lekker time doing it!! Lets ride the rainbow home!! PS...Don´t forget to drop by for another cupper!!

2007-12-13T21:29:00.000Z

The POWER of LOVE...

"Seeing people as innocent is the greatest gift you can give another human being: the gift of acceptance."
--- Rhonda Britten --- Submitted by Me

2007-12-13T20:00:00.000Z

WELCOME TO SA ......

2007-12-10T19:00:00.000Z

TOKOLOSHE

I haven't thought of the Tokoloshe in years..!

For good or evil, Tokoloshe folk tales have spread from the Xhosa and Zulu people of South Africa, and taken on various meanings across the countries of Southern Africa. As all South Africans know the Tokoloshe is a short, hairy, dwarf-like creature, it is a mischievous and evil spirit that rises out of the water tohave sex with women, or to fight men. If he loses the fight, he will teach the man magic and the art of healing and can become invisible to adults by swallowing a magic pebble. The Tokoloshe is sometimes called upon by people to cause trouble for others, and a witch doctor (inyanga, Sangoma) may be called to banish him.

At it’s least harmful a Tokoloshe can be used to scare children, but it’s power extends to causing illness and even death upon the victim. Often wreaking havoc, this mischievous creature generally means no harm, unless he is acting under the evil control of someone else. Traditionally, many Africans believe that the Tokoloshe tries to get to you when you're sleeping in your bed and cause you to do evil things. To avoid this, you must raise your bed off the ground with bricks to stay out of the reach of Tokoloshe. (Who doesn´t remember the bed on bricks??). Some people are afraid to mention its name. According to folklore, the Tokoloshe has only two weaknesses - their love of women and sour milk. Newspapers in South Africa still print stories of people having their cattle kraals raided by a Tokoloshe in search of milk, and he apparently hangs on the teats of cows and goats sucking the udders dry.

Many legends and myths permeate the lives of the people, and the Tokoloshe is still very much alive and well in the New South Africa, and no matter what, superstition superceeds everything, watch this …

2007-12-07T20:40:00.000Z

Sometimes ....

Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow,
Sometimes we must fail in order to know,
Sometimes we must lose in order to gain ..

Because some lessons in life are best learned through pain!!

2007-12-06T10:25:00.000Z

Rare South China tiger cub born in SA

The first South China tiger cub born in South Africa was shown to the media at the Laohu Valley Reserve in the southern Free State on Tuesday. The cub, not named yet, was born 11 days ago, weighing 1,2kg, and opened his eyes on Monday.

Experts estimate that fewer than 30 of these tigers remain living in the wild.

2007-12-05T10:03:00.000Z

2007-12-04T17:00:00.000Z

KOOS ....

Koos is besig om liefde te maak toe sy bokkie 'n epileptiese aanval kry.

Koos jaag met haar na dokter wat vra wat's fout?

Koos: Ek dink haar orgasme haak vas.

2007-12-04T16:04:00.000Z

Yet Another New Law:

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, specially during evening hours, the Durban City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Pavillion Mall in Westville . Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in South Africa.

2007-12-03T22:51:00.000Z

Having a bad day?

This is bound to make you smile... or even laugh!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: Q-20 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the Q-20. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

2007-11-30T00:30:00.000Z

NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM

I learnt this anthem and also sang it a couple of years before i left school. It has its charm... Was intresting when we would change languages because then you would hear us all sing with all our breath... :-). Drove the teachers and principal nuts! Lets not forget the actual teacher playing the piece. LOL

OLD NATIONAL ANTHEM

I remember standing up every monday morning to sing this song in assembly, most of my schooling years. Damn brings back alot of memories...It lives on in many ways for sure.

GOOD TO HEAR IT AGAIN!

2007-11-30T00:14:00.000Z

STUPID PEOPLE AWARDS

The 2000 Darwin awards!

(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, which he caught hold of for a few moments before his grip slipped, sending him plummeting 24 feet to the cement below. The military specialist had a blood alcohol content of 0.14%, impairing his judgment and paving the way for his opportunity to win a Darwin Award.

(11 August 1999) A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the eclipse while driving near Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving behind him stated that the man was weaving back and forth as he concentrated on the partially occluded sun, when he suddenly accelerated and hit the bridge pier. He had apparently just donned his solar viewers, which are dark enough to totally obscure everything except the sun.

(25 May 1999, Ukraine) A fisherman in Kiev electrocuted himself while fishing in the river Tereblya. The 43-year-old man connected cables to the main power supply of his home, and trailed the end into the river. The electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the water. The man waded in to collect his catch, neglecting to remove the live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish. In an ironic twist, the man was fishing for a mourning meal to commemorate the first anniversary of his mother-in-law's death.

(16 August 1999, Germany) A hunter from Bad Urach was shot dead by his own dog on Monday. The 51-year-old man was found sprawled next to his car in the Black Forest. A gun barrel was pointing out the window, and his bereaved dog was howling inside the car. The animal is presumed to have pressed the trigger with its paw. Police have ruled out foul play

2007-11-29T23:40:00.000Z

Truelly a miracle

Shortly after Blessing arrived in the world, her mother placed her in a plastic bag and left her to die. How long baby Blessing remained in that stretch of veld in Meredale, southern Johannesburg, no one knows.

On Friday morning, two gardeners who work at a nearby townhouse complex heard a baby crying. They called for help, and for two hours they searched the thick bush. They eventually found the baby in a plastic bag. By then she had stopped crying and when Johannesburg Emergency Management Services paramedic Tracey Visser arrived at the scene, her first thought was that the child was dead. "She wasn't responding, she was blue and very cold."

Eventually, when Visser was able to get a whimper from the newborn, she realised she was still alive. The baby, Visser said, still had the placenta attached. Visser rushed to a nearby townhouse complex and ran a bath. "I knew I had to warm her up or she would die," she said. Even after the bath, the baby was still unresponsive and cold. Visser then realised she had to use her own body heat to keep the newborn alive. "I tucked her into my top. I hoped that the skin-to-skin heat would warm her little body," she said.

The baby was rushed to Netcare Mulbarton hospital, where doctors Iselle Combrink and Derick Reinecke continued the task of warming the newborn up. Four days after she arrived at Mulbarton, she has a name and is on the road to recovery. Baby Blessing is feeding well and makes all the right cooing noises when the nursing staff vie for her attention.

Cuddly toys and donated baby products have been piling up net to her incubator. Visser has visited her every day since she rescued her in the veld. So has Juliet Msibi, who was part of the search team that found her in the veld. Msibi hopes to adopt her one day. For Visser, Blessing is her miracle baby, the one who survived. "In my eight years working as a paramedic this is the first abandoned baby to survive," she said proudly.

2007-11-29T22:53:00.000Z

FIND YOURSELF
" The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek therefore, not to find out who you are; seek to determine who you want to be." --- Author Unknown --- Submitted by Me

2007-11-28T20:00:00.000Z

I think Nedbank, Standard Bank, FNB and ABSA are in financial trouble. Yesterday I tried to withdraw money at all their ATM's, and I got the same message:

- "Insufficient Funds"!

2007-11-28T19:55:00.000Z

KOEKSUSTERS

The syrup - to be made the day before and left in the fridge to cool.

Ingredients
6 cups of water

24g of root ginger
2.5kg granulated sugar

Method
Boil 3 cups of water with the peeled and sliced root ginger. Remove the ginger and add 3 more cups of water. Bring to boil again. Add the sugar and allow to boil for 5 minutes. Allow to cool and store in fridge. NB - it has to be in the fridge as you need your syrup to be chilled!

For the pastry:

Ingredients
6 cups plain flour

6 teaspoons baking powder
125g of butter
2 eggs
125ml evaporated milk
312ml lukewarm water
a pinch of salt
oil for frying

Method

Mix all the above together and knead well, then leave to rest for 2 hours. Roll the dough flat into an oval/square until it is 5mm thick. Cut the dough into strips 2.5cm across. Then cut these strips into lengths of 6cm so that you are left with rectangles 2.5cm x 6cm Make two cuts along the length of the rectangles so that you can plait them – you are aiming for a plait similar to a 3-strand hair plait. When you have plaited each one, press the three strands together firmly at each end so that they do not come undone. Deep-fry each koeksuster in hot oil until crisp and golden brown. Remove with a slotted spoon and dip the whole cooked koeksuster immediately into your cool syrup.

Remember - the koeksuster has to be hot and the syrup cold in order for the syrup to be absorbed by the dough! Remove from the syrup and allow to cool on a paper towels before eating.

2007-11-27T20:54:00.000Z

Alleged rapist missing 'big chunk' of tongue!!

Police are searching for a man missing part of his tongue, which a woman bit off after he raped her. Durban Police Inspector Sivan Naidoo said that the 24-year-old woman, from Ntuzuma, had been waiting for a lift in Berea when a man stopped and offered her a ride. Instead of taking the woman to her destination, he drove to a secluded spot in Bellair and raped her. When the man tried to kiss her, the woman bit the man's tongue and fled. She was later picked up by two men, who took her to a police station.

The woman said she had bitten off "a significant chunk" of the man's tongue. She did not know what had become of the piece of the flesh.

November 27, 2007

Ek Verklaar: Good on her!!! Pity it wasn´t a chunk of something else!!!

2007-11-27T15:15:00.000Z

Zulu man (Kom ons lag 'n bietjie vandag!!)

A Zulu buys a lotto ticket & wins the lottery jackpot.

He goes to the post office to claim it & the man verifies his ticket number.

The Zulu: "I want my R10 million."

The man replied: "No, sir, it doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 5 years."

The Zulu: "Oh, no!! I want all my money right now!! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 5 years.

The Zulu, furious with the man, screams out, "LOOK I WANT MY MONEY! I f you're not going to give me my R10 million right now, then . . . . . .

I want my R2.50 back!

Durban - Draw for 2010 World Cup

2007-11-26T07:00:00.000Z

Tough warm-up draw for SA!!

Despite qualifying automatically as host of the 2010 World Cup, South Africa got some of the toughest opposition possible as preparation in the draw.

South Africa were drawn with Nigeria, Equatorial Guinea and Sierra Leone in Group 4. Although Bafana Bafana do not have to qualify for the tournament they will host, the African competition which doubles as qualifying for the 2010 African Cup of Nations.

Qualifiers will advance into a system of five groups of four teams. Each winner will qualify for the World Cup along with South Africa.

Top eight second-place teams advance to playoffs for four more spots:

Group 1 - Albania, Denmark, Hungary, Malta, Portugal, Sweden
Group 2 - Greece, Israel, Latvia, Luxembourg, Moldova, Switzerland
Group 3 - Czech Republic, Northern Ireland, Poland, San Marino, Slovakia, Slovenia
Group 4 - Azerbaijan, Finland, Germany, Liechtenstein, Russia, Wales
Group 5 - Armenia, Belgium, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Estonia, Spain, Turkey
Group 6 - Andorra, Belarus, Croatia, England, Kazakhstan, Ukraine
Group 7 - Austria, Faeroe Islands, France, Lithuania, Romania, Serbia
Group 8 - Bulgaria, Cyprus, Georgia, Ireland, Italy, Montenegro
Group 9 - Iceland, Macedonia, Netherlands, Norway, Scotland

2007-11-25T21:06:00.000Z

2007-11-24T17:25:00.000Z

IT´S GREAT TO BE A SOUF EFRIKAN!!!

This is a great country because:

You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.
Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.
You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.
You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.
Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
It's the only country in the world where striking workers showhow angry they are by dancing.
You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.
Great accent. (!!!)
If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.
Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.
You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.
The tow-trucksare the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.
Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.
The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.
The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled
Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

2007-11-24T17:15:00.000Z

Kyk net hoe mooi is die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

´N wonderwerk van God!!!!!!

Have you ever seen a rose this colour??

It is called the rainbow rose and is for real!!

2007-11-23T22:40:00.000Z

Well, I wonder ......... If I kiss this frog will he turn into my Prince Charming???? They say big hands ... big ..... será .... big Parra ... big ....????

2007-11-23T18:29:00.000Z

LOVE QUOTES

1) "Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense." ~ Helen Rowland

2) "Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law." ~ Boethius

3) "Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love." ~ Leo Buscaglia

4) "To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever." ~ Henry Drummond

5) "The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love." ~ Margaret Atwood

6) "If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough." ~ Ann Landers

7) "A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults." ~ Charles Kingsley

8) "The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love." ~ W. Somerset Maugham

2007-11-22T17:44:00.000Z

Todays joke...

Don't Leave 'Em Hanging

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

2007-11-22T17:25:00.000Z

Todays thought....

"Sometimes people leave you half way through the wood. Others may deceive you; you decide what’s good. You decide alone, but no one is alone." —Into the Woods by Stephen Sondhein

2007-11-20T20:50:00.000Z

ARE YOU A PORTUGUESE?

HOW CAN YOU TELL FOR SURE?

If you have ever been hit by a "Chinela " or "Fivela" or wooden spoon.
If you grew up scared by something called "O Velho"
If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
If you light a candle to the Virgin Mary on the night before your big test.
If you use your chin to point something out.
If you constantly refer to cereal as "con flacs or chirios (pronounced\nShi-re-j).
If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even if\nit's a one bedroom apartment.
If you can dance foklorico or rancho without music.
If you use "mantega" instead of olive oil and can't\nfigure out why your ancas are getting bigger.
If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some\n"Vic's vapor rub" all over your peito and inside your nostrils.
Your mom packs your "lanche" every day even though you've just\nturned thirty-two.
If you call the corner store "a estoua dos indianos."

2007-11-20T20:24:00.000Z

Thought for the Day ..

If you feel like doing some work, sit down and ............. wait .................., the feeling does go away!!